The Realm of Federal republic Sarmeria is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Stephan Katovski with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, rampant corporate plagiarism, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 16.649 billion Sarmerians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stefanov. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 31.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Sarmerian economy, worth a remarkable 3,939 trillion Sarmerian pounds a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 236,607 Sarmerian pounds, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,012,517 per year while the poor average 35,445, a ratio of 28.6 to 1.

Captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, families must live in a village for a century before they get any say in how it runs, skateparks can be found in every city, and students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Federal republic Sarmeria's national animal is the Black Adder, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Federal republic Sarmeria is ranked 13,342^nd in the world and 277^th in the Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 96.07 law-abiding acts per hour.