The Constitutional Monarchy of Firtopia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by King Haggard with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, daily referendums, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 15.145 billion Firtopians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Westwood. The average income tax rate is 73.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Firtopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,594 trillion Dullies a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 105,288 Dullies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The name of the "Butcher of Bigtopia" adorns shirts across Firtopia, evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, home renovation projects take decades to complete, and tourists need only sign on the dotted line to become citizens. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Firtopia's national animal is the Broad-Billed Parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Firtopia is ranked 11,324^th in the world and 320^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 54.76 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.