The Rogue Nation of Noobwaffelton is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by ZERO with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 7.51 billion Noobwaffeltonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Noobwaffeltropolis. The average income tax rate is 76.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Noobwaffeltonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,066 trillion Bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 141,952 Bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children's daycare starts at the crack of dawn, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous, government reports are now used to teach toddlers to read, and the price of freedom is about half a million Bitcoins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Noobwaffelton's national animal is the Otter, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Noobwaffelton is ranked 97,774^th in the world and 4,231^st in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 83.66 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.