The Federation of Onns Kells is a mid-sized, genial nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 89 million Onns Kellsians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny, liberal government prioritizes Welfare, with Education, Healthcare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. The average income tax rate is 9.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Onns Kellsian economy, worth 5.37 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 60,312 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines, even religious militants can be swayed by the power of #love, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, and teenagers can't decide if they're more embarrassed by their parents or the country's leader. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Onns Kells's national animal is the turtle.

Onns Kells is ranked 301,575^th in the world and 1,316^th in Europeia for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -5.48 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.