The Kingdom of Telia is a tiny, safe nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working population of 7 million Telians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 27.4%.

The Telian economy, worth 421 billion solids a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 60,225 solids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Students do more community service than homework, wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles, the right school tie opens more doors than the right qualification, and lobotomies haven't been the same after the practice was severed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telia's national animal is the great skua, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Telia is ranked 97,474^th in the world and 690^th in the West Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 932.38 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.