The Confederacy of Ump333 is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.732 billion Ump333ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Ump333ian economy, worth 933 trillion Platinums a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 197,308 Platinums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 714,798 per year while the poor average 38,829, a ratio of 18.4 to 1.

The nation solves other countries' human rights problems with a generous dose of violence, binoculars sales are at an all-time high, childhood friends of Leader are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense, and the government expresses surprisingly intense opinions on the use of whip pans. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump333's national animal is the Black Widow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ump333 is ranked 254,442^nd in the world and 8,816^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -165.6 on the Scary Big Number Scale.