The Realm of Whitecandle is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Warden Tewota with an iron fist, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.326 billion Candlemen enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The tiny, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Whitecandle Fortress. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.4%.

The powerhouse Candleman economy, worth 195 trillion mandibles a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 84,088 mandibles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 393,001 per year while the poor average 10,757, a ratio of 36.5 to 1.

They say that one should speak softly and carry a big broomstick, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, many believe that Warden Tewota's head is big enough for the sun to orbit around it, and a PhD just ain't what it used to be. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Whitecandle's national animal is the skeleton, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Whitecandle is ranked 320,616^th in the world and 96^th in The Hole To Hide In for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -9.49 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.