The People's Republic of Kitchen Nation is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by PhilmacFLy with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, cheerful population of 16.964 billion Kitcheners enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kitchen City. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Kitchener economy, worth a remarkable 3,603 trillion Kitchencoins a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 212,404 Kitchencoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Grandiose stage parents insist superyachts and private cinemas are children's basic needs, strip mining of rare earth metals is up while back problems are down, throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem, and students do more community service than homework. Crime is totally unknown. Kitchen Nation's national animal is the Platypuss, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Kitchen Nation is ranked 3,449^th in the world and 68^th in The Communist Bloc for Lowest Crime Rates, with 126.21 law-abiding acts per hour.