The Democratic People's Republic of Gwerq is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Malintzin Eti'ulu with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, smutty television, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.381 billion Gwerqians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kobistania. The average income tax rate is 93.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Gwerqian economy, worth 349 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 103,391 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, national parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys', murderers with law degrees can be seen swinging the gavel in courts, and foreign musicians that Malintzin Eti'ulu dislikes are turned away at the border. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gwerq's national animal is the monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Gwerq is ranked 5,840^th in the world and 215^th in The Communist Bloc for Nicest Citizens, with 44.42 average smiles per day.