The Commonwealth of Allwarts is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Warton with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, sprawling nuclear power plants, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 34.139 billion Allwartsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wartovia. The average income tax rate is 20.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Allwartsian economy, worth a remarkable 8,408 trillion Warts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 246,287 Warts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Many friends and relatives of President Warton have been given ambassador jobs in tropical island nations, the poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet, even secular Allwartsians are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!", and the government is ignoring the latest terrorist atrocities in Wartovia for fear of causing a fuss. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Allwarts's national animal is the Warthog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Church of the All Seeing.

Allwarts is ranked 317,076^th in the world and 2,180^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -9.8 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.