The Covenantal Commonwealth of Burnt Pines is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Warden of State with an iron fist, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, anti-smoking policies, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3 billion Burnt Folks are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Emberhold. The average income tax rate is 68.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Burnt Pinesian economy, worth 247 trillion Pine Scrips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 82,569 Pine Scrips, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer, defense lawyers often argue there's no proof murder victims weren't vampires, uprooting flowers for religious ceremonies is a felony, and tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the Burnt Pines Blood Tithe. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Burnt Pines's national animal is the Northland Stag, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Way.

Burnt Pines is ranked 84,237^th in the world and 170^th in Christians for Most Developed, scoring 65.83 on the Human Development Index.