The Grand Republic of North Abandonia is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by John Generic with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 9.93 billion Abandonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Biburgit. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient North Abandonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,329 trillion skatts a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 133,846 skatts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The black market offers sweet deals, cash-strapped politicians frequently host bake sales to fund their campaigns, no one questions why the chicken crossed the road anymore, and parking lots are littered with coffee cups and doughnut crumbs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Abandonia's national animal is the ahaks, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Old Way.

North Abandonia is ranked 305,582^nd in the world and 360^th in Christians for Fattest Citizens, with 3.19 Obesity Rate.