The Emeritus Augustus Pacificus of Pierconium is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Ivan Moldavi with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, avowedly heterosexual populace, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 40.242 billion Pacificans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stromholde. The average income tax rate is 80.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Pierconiumian economy, worth a remarkable 3,167 trillion Denarii a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 78,716 Denarii, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pierconium's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand, 'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office, the government is a law unto itself, and the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pierconium's national animal is the Drachul, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Moldavism.

Pierconium is ranked 89,173^rd in the world and 709^th in the Pacific for Highest Average Incomes, with 78,716.94 Standard Monetary Units.