The Empire of Teothopia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Teo with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.624 billion Teothopians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Imperial Dragon's City. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Teothopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,000 trillion Golden Teothopian Marks a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 116,009 Golden Teothopian Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, and umbrellas are back in fashion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teothopia's national animal is the Mystic Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Teothopia is ranked 12,459^th in the world and 611^th in The North Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 146.67 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.