The Commonwealth of Zepolmar is a massive, cultured nation, notable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 1.322 billion Zepolmarians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zepol. The average income tax rate is 8.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Zepolmarian economy, worth 59.1 trillion rontas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 44,736 rontas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

More and more musicians are refusing to put labels on their sound, sex changes are routinely performed at Zepolmar's hospitals, Leader has been self-declared as the Most Supreme Magnificent Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zepolmar's national animal is the seal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Zepolmar is ranked 21,735^th in the world and 31^st in Starlight for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 5,007.69 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.