The Unified States of Patea is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Davedroid with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, vat-grown people, and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 1.634 billion Pateans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Patria City. The average income tax rate is 24.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Patean economy, worth 152 trillion guildens a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Trout Farming, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,033 guildens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Patean politicians are often described as having more style than substance, workers of "fairweather faith" claim six months of paid leave for holy days per year, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, and the police have nothing to do with the increasing number of 'disappeared'. Crime is totally unknown. Patea's national animal is the Patean four toed sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Davedroidion.

Patea is ranked 113,656^th in the world and 204^th in Starlight for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,645.7 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.