The Tyrannical Federation of Kazanqa is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Affe with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, ritual sacrifices, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.952 billion Monkeys are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Käseaffe. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.0%.

The all-consuming Monkey economy, worth 188 trillion Kzeros a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 96,606 Kzeros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 285,551 per year while the poor average 25,686, a ratio of 11.1 to 1.

Affe claims to be the epitome of family values, those who don't have a bean to spend don't know a bean about Brasilistanian coffee beans, government reports are now used to teach toddlers to read, and city workers have declared that rolling markets aren't good for business after all. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kazanqa's national animal is the Blue Starred Monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Monkeism.

Kazanqa is ranked 237,773^rd in the world and 4,938^th in The North Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.01 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.