by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 69thMost Devout: 94thMost Primitive: 109th
The Hotdog-craving birb of
Corporate Police State Halliburton
Ack? Ack!
Steven Seagulls
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population6.023 billion

LeaderSteven Seagulls
FaithThe Cult of Hotdog

Currencystolen hotdog

The Hotdog-craving birb of Seagull is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Steven Seagulls with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, complete lack of prisons, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.023 billion Seagulls are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ackopolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Seagulls economy, worth a remarkable 1,659 trillion stolen hotdogs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 275,448 stolen hotdogs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,548,482 per year while the poor average 2,881, a ratio of 884 to 1.

Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested, ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain, people feel the most alone when among peers, and people who have never eaten chicken are told it tastes a bit like crocodile. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Seagull's national animal is the Seagull, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Hotdog.

Seagull is ranked 916th in the world and 6th in Forest for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 11,719.7 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 69thMost Devout: 94thMost Primitive: 109thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 158thFattest Citizens: 169thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 203rdLargest Gambling Industry: 254thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 255thLargest Retail Industry: 257thMost Avoided: 262ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 321stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 346thMost Armed: 349thHighest Crime Rates: 365thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 493rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 512thMost Corrupt Governments: 544thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 636thHighest Disposable Incomes: 821stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 853rdLargest Mining Sector: 857thRudest Citizens: 902ndLargest Insurance Industry: 916thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,372ndMost Efficient Economies: 1,513thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,551stMost Influential: 2,905thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,402ndMost Subsidized Industry: 7,194thMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,846thHighest Economic Output: 9,347thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,942ndTop
Most Stationary: 17,385thLargest Black Market: 17,505thLargest Governments: 20,243rd
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5th in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionRudest Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 10th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 16th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 20th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 24th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, people who have never eaten chicken are told it tastes a bit like crocodile.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, people feel the most alone when among peers.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, adult stores are all sold out of whips.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, skyscrapers get built in just days.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, fathers are free to sell their daughters to whomever they choose.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off.
  • : Following new legislation in Seagull, the diplomatic corps tends to open negotiations by insulting all the foreigners in the room.


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