The Democratic Republic of Kretzel is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ruling Committee with an iron fist, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, compulsory military service, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.184 billion Kretzelians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vorona. The average income tax rate is 63.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kretzelian economy, worth 118 trillion Drammars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 100,290 Drammars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, the highest sporting award is the Grail of Tears, a little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass, and lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kretzel's national animal is the European Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is State atheism.

Kretzel is ranked 35,997^th in the world and 794^th in The North Pacific for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 226.28 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.