The People's Republic of Parkintopia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Sunni Fa'asavalu with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.865 billion Parkintopians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The thriving Parkintopian economy, worth 292 trillion Sables a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 102,016 Sables, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Demolition derbies mostly consist of bicycles crashing into each other, doctors who mutter "Oh my God" often lose their medical license, trolls insist that strings of racial slurs mean "good morning" in obscure languages, and citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Parkintopia's national animal is the Llama, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Parkintopia is ranked 286,669^th in the world and 3,685^th in the South Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -9.35 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.