The Holy Green Armed Republic of Muffinses is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Lord Muffino with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.772 billion Muffinsesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Muffiscaland. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Muffinsesian economy, worth 805 trillion Muffinoses a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 139,610 Muffinoses, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 507,603 per year while the poor average 27,320, a ratio of 18.6 to 1.

Reporters sent to cover suspected UFO visits come back with stories about quilting bees, the armed forces insist that UFOs aren't real... yet, bin lorries have replaced birds as the source of the dawn chorus, and residents of newly dried out bays live in fear of leaky dikes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Muffinses's national animal is the Muffin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Muffinism.

Muffinses is ranked 10,169^th in the world and 266^th in the South Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,449.77 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.