The Stoopid McDumface of The Northern Ice is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Someone with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, aversion to nipples, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.073 billion Citizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital City. The average income tax rate is 78.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Icy economy, worth 630 trillion Euros a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 124,350 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Emergency responders spend more time in the air than giving air, half of the nation's import/export industry is run from a location known only as 'Dead Man's Cove', metal detectors have been banned after a bottle cap caused a riot at the beach, and the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Northern Ice's national animal is the Arctic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

The Northern Ice is ranked 282,243^rd in the world and 4,232^nd in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 6.09 Obesity Rate.