The Faux-Mountains of Salzcovia is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Flower Father with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, complete lack of prisons, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 11.038 billion Salzcovians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Candleland. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Salzcovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,847 trillion Flowerrencies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 167,385 Flowerrencies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Late night talk show hosts are having a field day over Flower Father's questionably sane new coalition partners, elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, veterans are directed into environmental cleanup operations, and space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Salzcovia's national animal is the Goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Salzcovia is ranked 275,594^th in the world and 4,152^nd in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 6.4 Obesity Rate.