The United Socialist States of Neo Colorado is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Arkle Scribe with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 21.404 billion Neo Coloradoans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stilwater. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but underdeveloped Neo Coloradoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,964 trillion Deenihans a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 91,784 Deenihans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

One-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, rumor has it that Arkle Scribe has won three lotteries in a row, and a common response to government PSAs is "well, DUH, obviously". Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neo Colorado's national animal is the Hippo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Neo Colorado is ranked 277,920^th in the world and 5,823^rd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -307.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.