The Free Land of Pytong is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Kamil Iwo with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, national health service, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.115 billion Pytongians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kamilowo. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Pytongian economy, worth a remarkable 1,161 trillion kapustas a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,950 kapustas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Kamil Iwo's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies, all weapon research has been banned, troublemakers boast about how many times they have to visit their therapist, and the art of conversation has been rediscovered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pytong's national animal is the python 𓆙, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pytongism.

Pytong is ranked 121,713^th in the world and 2,574^th in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 74.7 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.