The Free Land of Pytong is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Kamil Iwo with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, pith helmet sales, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.002 billion Pytongians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kamilowo. The average income tax rate is 80.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pytongian economy, worth 302 trillion kapustas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 150,957 kapustas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Pytongian as 'your finger, you fool', radiation is a hot topic, large-girthed charity workers assign themselves healthy wages for their work with starving children, and 50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pytong's national animal is the Goldfinch, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Pytongism.

Pytong is ranked 28,932^nd in the world and 1,154^th in The North Pacific for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens, with 53.9 Whatever.