The Most Serene Republic of Phoronu is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by G Edwardius with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, national health service, and smutty television. The compassionate, cheerful population of 20.881 billion Phoronuans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Phoronus. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Phoronuan economy, worth a remarkable 3,712 trillion Phoronuan Dollars a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 177,811 Phoronuan Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Schoolchildren on field trips are asked what torture means to them, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings, and the government expresses surprisingly intense opinions on the use of whip pans. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phoronu's national animal is the Quick Toed Sloth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Non-Movementarianism.

Phoronu is ranked 304,611^th in the world and 4,572^nd in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 3.44 Obesity Rate.